


Lamp and Brick: A Love Story

by bootlegbucky (BootlegAvengers)



Category: Anchorman (Movies)
Genre: Other, no regrets, or excuse, there's really no explanation for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BootlegAvengers/pseuds/bootlegbucky
Summary: This is a crackship beyond belief





	Lamp and Brick: A Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> there's nothing we can say for ourselves

It was a long day of news anchoring with the team, and Brick’s mind was overworked after he had to learn that there is a difference between the Midwestern states and the Middle East. He accidentally fell asleep in the bosses office after the talk and the boss decided he was just going to leave Brick there because what could Brick possibly do in one night? ‘Nothing’ he thought. ‘All of my office supplies are safe’.

It was about 2 in the morning when Brick woke up from sleeping to realize he was alone in the dark office.

“I just realized I’m afraid of the dark,” Brick said to himself. “I need..”

He turned to see the lamp on his bosses desk. The lamp. The one he fell in love with that one day Ron Burgundy was talking about love, or whatever. He approached it and gently stroked the lamp shade.

“Pretty lamp,” he whispered to it. “I need you to turn on.”

He tried switching it on but nothing happened. He made sure it was plugged in, and it was.

“Maybe I need to…” he began to unbuckle his pants, “..turn you on.”

He pulled a banana, his favorite snack, out of his pockets before removing his pants entirely. He peeled it open and moved his mouth up and down on the base of the banana, as he sensually stared at the lamp.

The lamp began to flicker. It was working, but he needed to do more to turn it on completely.

He held the banana in his mouth and removed his shirt. He took the banana and rubbed it against his nipples.

The lamp turned on.

Brick threw the banana in the garbage and walked over to the lamp.

“I love lamp,” he said to it. The lamp did not respond. Brick pulled off his underwear so he was now completely naked. He positioned the lamp so that the hole in the top of the lamp shade was right by his dick.

His dick entered the hole, touching against the light bulb. It was really hot, but Brick yelled with pleasure from the pain. He thrusted back and forth for 45 minutes and with each passing minute the light bulb somehow managed to get brighter and brighter. When Brick exploded, the light bulb also exploded, and shattered into a million pieces.

He placed the lamp back on the desk and laid in the pieces of glass around him, not bothering to get up.

Just then, a security officer entered the room.

“Brick, I’d just thought I’d let you know that there are cameras in each room of this building,” he said. “I saw everything.”

Brick didn’t respond, he was too busy rubbing a piece of the broken bulb around his face, gently.


End file.
